Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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