dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
