Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
