Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
