Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
