You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to coat check the pizza.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize