its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Randomize
