i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
