things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
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He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
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What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
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