over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
