we have officially lost it.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
