I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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