3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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