i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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