this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
