I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
