Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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