oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize