Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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