Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
