don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I would fuck him just for his dog
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