Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
