Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
