I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
My penis needs a shock collar
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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