What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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