So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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