wat bout pragnant strippers??
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
