What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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