Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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