I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
