I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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