im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I understand Curling. That high.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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