So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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