i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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