I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
she peed on how many people?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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