the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
