Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
