omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
