need another drink. this is the easiest way
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
