im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
