ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
