You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
