I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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