my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
