At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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