You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
