you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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