Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
