Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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