Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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