he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
