The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
