All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
