But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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