brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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