ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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