she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
